Someone Should Probably Kill This Post With Fire

I put up a poll a couple days ago to try to gauge how you guys would feel about me putting a couple ads on my blog.  I allowed you to pick multiple answers, so the data might be skewed slightly, but even still, the results were a little surprising to me:


Don't you think you guys are being a little melodramatic about this?  Did you know that 224 of you are dead now?  


You should really try to die less easily.  

And to the 162 of you who are going to come to my house and kick me in the face (even though half of you are probably dead right now due to overlap in the results):  I'll be wearing a steel-reinforced hockey mask.   



Anyway, the ads are up.  There are three of them.   I know next to nothing about SEO, so the ads that show up are going to be pretty random.   

And in case any of you are worried, this is as far as I'm going to go with monetization on this blog.  (I had to bold this next part because even after posting about this on Facebook, Twitter and my blog, I am still getting comments/emails about how I better not put pop-ups on my blog.) 

You will never see me write a paid review of anything.  I will never molest you with pop-ups or pop-unders or anything that flashes or moves or causes my page to freeze.  There will be no pop-ups or moving things.  None.  Ever.  

That little box of text in the sidebar is it.  That is what I was making a big deal about.  

That being said, I do want to make this whole advertising thing more entertaining for you guys.  So what I'm going to do is run AdSense until I can get some direct advertisers who will allow me to design my own ads.  So, direct advertisers, here is a sample of what I can do for you, based off of product-requests from my readers (via Twitter and Facebook): 


While I recognize that I probably won't be getting advertising from Macintosh or Adobe Illustrator, it doesn't hurt to court them a little.  However, someone needs to take down Charmin Ultra because their thinly-veiled dingleberry jokes are getting kind of annoying.  

IN OTHER NEWS:  I haven't been posting as frequently.  You have probably noticed this.   I knew I wouldn't be able to keep up that crazy 7-day-a-week posting schedule I had going last month, but I think I can manage 3 or 4 posts a week pretty indefinitely once my life settles down a little.  So just in case you were worried, this lapse in posting doesn't mean my blog is in its death throes.  On the contrary, it means that my blog is doing so well that I've been too busy to write a post every single day.  

OH MY GOD THIS POST KEEPS GOING AND THERE REALLY ISN'T ANY CONTINUITY WHATSOEVER BUT THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE GUESS WHAT?

SPAGHATTA NADLE! 

I have been inundated with emails about Spaghatta Nadle, so here you go, weirdos. 




Spaghatta Nadle encounters the comments section of icanhascheezburger... 




And now two guest strips by Boyfriend: 



Okay.  This post was a monstrosity.  All the separate parts were okay, but when I put them together it just came out all weird.  Like putting A1 steak sauce on a banana.  

UPDATE:  I've been asked a few times about whether clicking the ads makes me money.  The answer is yes, but you can't just go clicking on every ad because you like me.  I wholeheartedly appreciate the sentiment, but Google classifies it as click-fraud and I'll get in trouble.  However, if you see something that interests you, feel free to take a look at it.  

190 comments:

Jon said...

/dead/

Robin said...

I am crying I am laughing so hard!

Andrew said...

<3

That is all.

Ben said...

What's wrong with A1 stake sauce on a banana?

In all seriousness, though, I REALLY wanna try that now...

WannabeVirginia W. said...

Holy crap, I missed that survey. Where the hell was I?

I am all for folks making money and eating. I am hoping you don't put ads that flash or flicker because they can be very annoying while reading a blog. If you chose to do so, then so sad cause I am out. :(

Cap said...

I'm happy you're making some money, even though I'm dead. And even though I'm dead, I could still kick you in the face and your hockey mask wouldn't help you because a hockey mask is no protection against a death kick from a dead reader.

I'm just sayin'. I wouldn't actually do that. But I could.

Remilda Graystone said...

I totally missed the survey too!!! I would've probably voted for the majority anyway. Maybe. But great post!

TB said...

Kudos to the boyfriend, because that Google cartoon is one of the funniest things I've seen all day!

I was ready to click the sh*t out of your ads, but I don't understand what any of them are for! WTF??? I'll click anyway. Because I'm nice and awesome. :)

SimplyComplicated said...

I didn't die or threaten you with bodily injury... What do I win?

Davsot said...

i really like your blog.

Nicole Walker said...

hope you can eat now! :D

emitay said...

omg... i love google Spaghatta Nadle. *chuckles*

PlayboyMommy said...

I'm so glad there was a new post today! You totally made my night! For some reason, it seems like whenever I'm drinking, you post a new one....maybe I should drink more? hrmmm I'll have to test that theory. Anyways, I don't mind your ads. Make that money girl! I love your blog. I'm a new recruit, but I'm totally hooked!! I've been telling everyone I know about your blog! Keep it up, cuz you kick da ass!!! :)

Much Love,
Amber

Calli said...

I think accidently voted for the totally-a-delicate-flower-so-now-I'm-dead option, then I tried to correct it to my originally intended choice of you're-dumb-for-not-putting-up-ads-earlier option, but I'm not sure if it actually worked…so, I might have died but am obviously using a keyboard right now…does this mean I might be a zombie? WHERE THE FUCK IS AN ALLIE GRAPH OR GUIDE ON WHETHER OR NOT I'M A ZOMBIE? (Ok, I may have been drinking when I posted this, but I still think an "Am I a zombie?" guide would be helpful right now just in case.)

christie ! said...

It's okay. I always write long obnoxious posts when I feel I've been neglecting my blog too.
Still hilarious.

Calum said...

hahaha i fucking love it! This post was worth the wait!

Jaywalker said...

Ads don't bother me; I have a wonderful product called AdAware. Or AdBlock. Or something.

I hope you're not personally offended.

You should see if they want to advertise with you. My suggested campaign would be a really annoying flashy seizure-inducing thing saying "You don't wanna see this ad? Buy our product."

What you also need is a PayPal donations jar, so that people like me can donate. Except, if they're people like me, they don't have any money in the first place. So never mind.

Kraken said...

darn i missed the survey!
in any case now that you are going to put up ads when can i buy a $40 mini ad? and since your supper creepy and can find me i'm both curious and afraid what kind of ad i would be buying if you designed it.

Spaghatta Nadle FTW

Emily said...

Oh sweet zombie jesus, you make my loins happy with laughter.

That's a creepy thought. You rock! Fooooollowed.

starry_eyes said...

I'm glad you're running some ads now. If you can eat and not freeze to death you can post more funny things. :D

ShineForLife said...

Your followers should only consist of survivors, anyways. Otherwise how can you keep being famous after the zombie apocalypse?

TJ said...

I do not even see any ads. What is going on here - why are you keeping me from seeing THE ADS! I wants them!

Aaron said...

I thought you would like this:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=44475449

Amy said...

do you make money when I click on those? Cuz I clicked on them so you could eat food. And I like you. But you should tell me if it matters cuz otherwise I'm just a loser clicking internet ads for crescent rolls.

Ben said...

The 9-ply toilet paper ad is superb. "The only way you can be more safe from poo is to wipe with a pillow". That is SO much better than those stupid ads with dogs unrollowing a toilet roll all around the house. Who is supposed to think that is good anyway? I'd be annoyed if a dog did that. Its made a mess AND wasted a whole roll. Its not like I'm going to roll it back up again is it??

Also I think that Jaywalker's paypal idea is good.

Elizabeth said...

I despise the term "lol," but I have to admit that I just spit wine all over my computer laughing at your ads.

Maureen said...

"Adobe Illustrator: your drawings will make a lot more sense and won't look as shitty."

LOVE it.

Also, the google search spaghatta nadle is hilarious. your boyfriend should be proud.

A Nurse's Curses said...

I was recently introduced to your blog, I find you amazing.

Gnetch said...

I'm really depressed. Spaghatta Nadle has been ignoring my marriage proposal! *sigh*

Oh, that steel-reinforced hockey mask looks good on you.

And this post made my day.

Anonymous said...

dude, I've been like stalking your blog for a while cuz its supa dupa funny but boyfriends cartoons were pretty freaking rad. does he have a super amazing blog of awesomeness too? oh yea, and you should answer the damn question about clicking the ads. DOES IT MATTER!?!?!?

chiefy said...

Hmm, I noticed an extreme lack of tampon ads, which somebody super awesome with orange hair may or may not have suggested on twitter like days ago.

But hey, like, if bloody uterus lining isn't your thing, to each pizzone. Or something.

Also, damn I hope that face protector is really tough because that's a LOT of kids to the face.

Londongirl said...

If I worked for Adobe I would definitely get you to do the ads...in a reinforced hockey mask. Hmmm that's sounding a bit kinky. Sorry.

Shakes McGee said...

I just found your blog a couple of days ago and I love it! You make me wish I had a company to advertise. Hell, if I had money, I would pay you to advertise me. I am pretty sure you are the only one who could do it correctly anyway!

Allie said...

chiefy - I'm saving that one ;) I'm going to do more of these fake ad posts in the future, so don't worry. I may even do a few tampon/pad advertisements.

Allison said...

I have to be honest, I don't usually enjoy the spaghatti nadles, buutttttt, today's were awesome!!!!!!!!!! I laughed a lot. :)

Oh and I voted that you should get to eat and be warm. Please do so!

Procrastamom said...

Nobody talks smack about my Charmin Ultra. Unsubscribe!!!

Josh said...

Just so you know, this is the only website that I have disabled ad-blocker for. You are a genius and deserve to get payed for this!

Shaun said...

I totally love the Bear/charmin ad....you have to move to Manhattan and make it in advertising....

Harini said...

Ads like the ones you put are absolutely fine. You will make money and we wont find it annoying too :).

Ian said...

I love your blog, I love SPAGHATTA NADLE! I love that you can make money now and possibly stop living like a hobo some day!

SA5MI said...

THIS IS SPAGHATTA!!! I love it! You're awesome Allie, and if i see a neat ad on your page i will click it because you are awesome and you need more moneys to buy burritos and stuff.

- Jane said...

The rendition of skeet skeet was amazing. I have a friend with a speech impediment and we used to make him repeat the chorus for us over and over again and we would just laugh... ahh memories

=)


-Jane

dogimo said...

The Coca-Cola Corporation is a responsible partner in bringing you refreshment. The next time you feel a bit pequod, (peaked? peekud? peak ed?) PEKID! -

Cut!

The Coca-Cola Corporation is a responsible partner in bringing you refreshment. Sure, other companies bring you fine, fizzy beverage options, but only the Coca-Cola Corporation brings you Coca-Cola: the Finest Surgary Corporate Beverage In The World. Whether you're cracking the cap on that classic glass bottle, twisting off the breaky-thread screw-off lid of the plastic bottle option, or popping the pull-pin on the ol' red aluminum hand grenade of flavor that is the iconic and formidable Can Of Coke Classic, you're sure to enjoy the taste sensation that for years has had millions fleeing their homes to seek it out wherever it hides: in movie theaters. In supermarkets. At your local top-brand fast-food restaurant. Or sometimes, just sitting there in a machine on a street corner.

Chilling.

Mel said...

I clicked on the ads. I hope it made you a little richer.

wallflower said...

Haha, these are cute.

JSitterley said...

You MUST put your new spaghatta nadle strip on a mug! I will buy 10 of them!

Ashley said...

I tried to click a link I was interested in but I've already had ice cream AND a sandwich today. I am also not a mom.

Good luck!
ashley

Brian said...

I disabled AdBlock on my web viewer for your blogosphere and clicked a Subway ad, just for you because I think you're swell.

Okay, I admit, I heart Spaghatta Nadle.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm craving Subway.

JC said...

Boyfriend's first guest strip was some funny-ass shit.

Love the blog as always!

Anonymous said...

Oh my mother fucking god, how sad is that I just got the BIGGEST kick out of Spaghatta Nadle??

And hey, you're the weirdo that came up with it in the first place, weirdo. So there. Rubber glue right back to you and all that good third grader nonsense. :P

Cai said...

I found this blog all of a week ago. Because I'm obsessive and weird and don't sleep much, I've read the entire thing now.

Yay for monies! I'd click the ads, but so far it's told me I can make $77,000,000 and thinks I need Utah SEO training, whatever that is.

Pookie said...

You should definitely put a few relevant ads on this blog, but I recommend getting off of blogspot first and putting it on your own domain.

Keeper of the Bucket said...

Everytime I see the Spaghatta Nadle talk I have to repeat what his says in my best (or worst?) impression of his voice.
Many strange glances are sure to follow.
But he is my hero :D

Muri said...

I second Pookie. You're own domain name will make you even moar epic :)

kitchen tables said...

I am laughing so hard! Love the blog as always!

Gordon said...

Aww! Go for it, make some money for food! :)

As for no Apple $$, comr on, loved the MacBook ad mmyou should totally get into the MacBook vinyl sticker thing on Etsy. I'd so sticker my MB with a pain chart, pie/cake, Easter, Fish, etc sticker!

Gordon said...

Awwww. iPad mangled my comment a little. ;)

_rusty_robot said...

OK SO ALL THE ADS I SEE ARE FOR SANDWICHES. I LOVE THIS. BUT NOW I WANT A SANDWICH, DESPERATELY.
THANK YOU FOR RUINING MY DAY AT EXACTLY 5AM.

Diane Laney Fitzpatrick said...

I'm a relatively new reader and I don't even know what Spaghetta Nahdle is and I'm laughing my ahss ahf.

Sam Liu said...

Haha, to be fair, Allie, I think people were just taking the piss when they answered your poll - it was hard not to be melodramatic as there wasn't an un-melodramatic option.

Nonetheless, the ads are up now, you'll make lots of money and your blog's super-cool-awesomeness will live on. Everyone's a winner! :D

Leandro said...

Clicky, clicky, clicky. I know that Adsense's money-per-click is very low, so I hope my clickies are enough to buy you a (very small) chocolate.

Morgan said...

Spaghatta nadle was so funny this post. Kudos to you AND boyfriend. (You might want to watch your back.)

khelsaoe said...

I just thought you should know that there is an ad to the side right now that says "Buy Muscle Sandwich Bars." At first I thought it was something you posted, but I clearly see "Ads by Google" at the bottome. And by "bottome" I mean "bottom." It would have been a lot easier in hindsight just to erase that "e", but it's too late now.

hfm said...

I've been reading your posts on Google Reader for a while now, but I popped by just to click on an ad so you receive ad revenue & don't die from lack of money which will lead to starvation which in turn shall be the cause of your death, & that would truly suck since I really enjoy your posts.

Aren't I nice?
*demure smile*

:D

Meribah said...

I just found your blog a few days ago, and I must say it is freakin' hilarious! Keep up the funny cuz funny is good.
Now, I'm in the process of reading all your back posts. Yes, I like your blog THAT much! :D

. said...

i was laughing so hard that i woke up angelo =)

Mark said...

I would send you $5 if you had a donation button... FYI

Sarah said...

Spaghatta Nadle was hilarious today. Sometimes I don't really get it, but these actually made me LOL.

:D

Lucky Lizard Ranch said...

Great post Allie! Apparently a lot of us can follow and enjoy the stream of consciousness from your cranium! Looking forward to more of your ads!

Edward Chik said...

All of your ads link me to sandwich recipes, which is both appetizing and freaking me out. HOW DID THEY READ INTO MY MIND?

Alana said...

Paypal donation boxes are not a bad idea. I've gotten a few extra dollars from that over the years. And actually, there are 388 dead people, cause of the ones who set themselves on fire. Really an undignified way to go, setting yourself on fire over a blog you never had to pay to read in the first place.

Bunnee said...

I love angry Spaghatta Nadle! He sure doesn't fuck around, does he!

Boyd said...

mmmmm...I'm gonna have me some steak bananas for lunch now.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

I actually think your adsense ads may be just as entertaining and confusing as your blog, which is awesome.

I just looked at the sidebar, and there's an ad for tasty tea sandwiches. What.The.Fuck??

And just so you know, you're awesome.

The Chicken's Consigliere said...

Spaghetta Nadle on Google. Wow, that was funny. Allie, can you please update your awesome button? It's been almost a month, and I love unicorns, I do, but I want something new and awesome to read.

Tiffany said...

"TAH ALL SKAHT SKAHT MAHTHARFAHCKAR!"

Bwaaahahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!

fallerya said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Beta Dad said...

You should totally eat some stuff.

More Spaghatta Nadle gangsta rap! Maybe you can get sponsored by Hennessy.

Amanda said...

If you really want to learn about SEO.

http://www.lynda.com/home/DisplayCourse.aspx?lpk2=52344&utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=viral&utm_content=twitter&utm_campaign=twitter

Anders said...

Right now there are 2459 people that subscribe to your RSS-feed in Google Reader. You could put a couple of adsense ads at the bottom of your RSS-items as well.

Allie said...

Anders - I wanted to keep my RSS feed free from ads so that people who are truly bothered by them can just read my feed.

BTW, where are you seeing that number? Mine says ~5,000 Google subscribers... I hope mine isn't over-reporting or something. That would certainly knock me down a peg!

Ms. EH said...

wicked dead.

Little Ninja said...

I HEART THIS MONSTROSITY!
Also, I very much enjoy the little orange monster at the bottom of the page that is saying "Hello" to me. :)

Tracy said...

Tah thah wahndaaah... tah thah wahlls!!!!

Best. Spaghatta Nadle. Ever.

You are twisted and you make me happy.

warriorwoman said...

I totally want you to design an ad for my business. I'm in marketing, so I appreciate your crazy-ass marketing sense.

Sarah P said...

Do you really have time to read comments anymore?

I could write anything here, and you'd probably never see it.

It could be, like, a private journal.

Guess what I'm doing today, journal?

I'm on the couch, sick! BUMMED. Ate a piece of pizza. Watching Forensic Files. Cat's sleeping. OK. Still <3 Hubby ^max 4-eva. Don't tell anyone, journal.
LYLAS, journal. Until next time.
SP

AMBELLINA said...

OMG. I clicked on one of your adds because I thought it was way funny. Something about advertising with banners in the sky. And I would post the picture but I'm not that savvy of the first banner on their web site. It says "Beer airdrops are illegal. We looked into it." lol!

kembial said...

Holy fuck, I finally caught up with the present! Yes, I read every post, in a row... over the course of a few days. I did not read all the comments, though I left a few, in the past. Reading all the comments would take me an extra month.

Which is my only beef with your blog. I'm not saying you should be less famous, because you worked hard for it. I'm not saying people should comment less, because then it would be hypocritical of me to even make one, myself.

What I am suggesting, to assist the rest of us OCD semi-completionists is to move (if possible) the post navigation links [Newer Post/Home/Older Post] so that they sit directly after your post, instead of under an indeterminate amount of comments.

I mean, 20 comments in the early days? Yeah, I can read through those. 30-40... I might commit, if I have some spare time. 50+, Jesus Forbid your new fame-induced 100+ comments... I just can't do THAT.

So, basically, anyone lunatic enough to read your entire blog to be completely informed on whether they want to follow you or not has to scroll a ton to find the newer post link.

Oh yeah, and Hello Monster owns the [End] key, and my [Pg Dn] key is kind of happy because it's seen way more use than I ever intended it for (that is, completely ignoring it, because I actually read at the rate of [Down Arrow]...).

Um, wtf. Yeah, page navigation would make me happier, and be easier for your future past readers, if you had the links BEFORE the comments.

Please.

kembial said...

I got totally distracted in writing my comment that I forgot to say this. I've caught up with Hyperbole...

Now it's off to complete ADVERTISEMENTHARLOT. I WILL read it. ALL.

Damn, that would have sounded so much more impressive if I hadn't forgotten to post it in the original.

Wendybob said...

The Get low thing...best Spaghatta Nadle ever. Just sayin'.

Christina In Wonderland said...

Damn you, Allie. You killed me.

Now I'll have to haunt your ass, for shiz. :)

Jeff Moore said...

Not only should you eat, you should eat more than Ramen and Hamburger Helper (without the hamburger). Move your ads up the page! No one will click them down there! Please do not die of starvation!

Also, is it click fraud if I write a script to click the ads for me?

TS Hendrik said...

Those are the greatest ads of all time. I love the snuggie one!

Judy said...

I'm afraid to talk too much about retirement adventures/jobs on my blog....I'm going to work at Yellowstone in a couple of weeks. I don't want ads for depends or prunes or old people stuff. If I wore depends I wouldn't be going to Yellowstone!

And I would look at ads if they looked like yours.

Anonymous said...

Ads =
1) MRI Scans in Montreal
2) Sandwich recipes

I believe this jives with your theme of food and head injuries.

/DiS Inc.

Mainland Streel said...

I didn't even notice the ads. I think it's great that you've out them up... you deserve some moolah for all the work you put into your blog. :)

Lachlan said...

Hmm interesting, A.L.L.I.E. All Loving Lucky Interesting Entity! (Oh by the way i clicked on like 25 of your ads to give you some more monies!!)

Rachel Cole said...

I am just wondering.... do you only get money if we actually click on the ads? or do you get money for them just being there? If so I will click every time I come here... because it makes me happy to help others and I want you to eat food and live off of things other than bananas and ramen.

kembial said...

Should probably find out what would be overkill and make AdSense mad. I can totally see myself clicking the ONE ad that is most interesting to me, on each post.

Clicking every single ad may begin to look suspicious, though.

Oh, and Ad Block Plus users, you can RIGHT-CLICK-YAY, and disable ABP for the entire hyperbole site.

If you're not an ABP user, I suggest you pick it up and say good bye to all the ads you DON'T want to see.

But, I'll start clicking as many ads as Allie would suggest is acceptable. OF MY OWN FREE WILL, OF COURSE.

Ed said...

Ad Sense Whore!


Seriously though, good shit.

Chuck said...

That spaghatta nadle was worth the wait...I am laughing my ass into tears. This post made way more sense than you know! Keep rocking with the Nadle!

ellecee said...

I'm confused. Clicking your ads is good or gets you in trouble? I clicked one ad because I didn't want to seem like an over-zealous ad clicker who is insincere in their clicking. But I do want you to get money. I think one click is safe. Right?

Miss Mayhem said...

Hahahahahahaha! I totally wish you could post every day! That would be major coolness... :D

One Pork Chop said...

There are very few people on the Interwebs who make me laugh out loud. You are one of the few, nay, only one who does.

So, congratulations. Because that's effing remarkable.

And I love you a little.

And am glad that you are FINALLY monetizing this blog with the huge following you have. You deserve every single cent for making the laughless laugh again.

Gracias.

One Pork Chop said...

I just re-read my comment and realize that it makes me appear illiterate. I wish there was an edit button.

Natalie No-cash said...

Good on you - why the hell not, I say!

I hope you become rich beyond your wildest thousandaire dreams :D

Patty said...

I have to admit, I'm amused that the ads I see today are all about sandwiches. Apparently, there are Ways to avoid the MUTANT SANDWICH OF DEATH.

Jeremiah said...

1657 + 1392!!!

Make the MONEY! SPAM US AND FEED YOURSELF!!! Food is always nice.

punifa said...

I see three sandwich ads. I also see your sandwich post. I have no beautiful sandwich fixings :|

Anonymous said...

My favorite thing about Spaghatta is that it takes me a few moments to figure out wtf he is saying, and when I do for some reason the delay makes it ten times funnier. The "Get Low" noodle had me dying. I would also like to throw my vote in for you placing a paypal donation button somewhere on this wondrous blog so we can donate, and you can use that to buy food or build up your anti-bear defense system.

ojeilloh said...

I really enjoy that you finally placed some ads! I hope you can buy the shit out of tacos now!

Heather said...

I just laughed so hard my husband assumed he must have accidentally said something stupid, because I only laugh that hard when he says something stupid.

a girl said...

I left google reader JUST to check your ads. Yes, feed yourself. Grilled cheese nom nom.

Boedullus said...

OK, so I now officially have taken the name Spaghatta Nadle on DDO. I will sell it to any of y'all for infinity billion dollars, and not a penny less.

Imnotbenny said...

KARAHTAH!

elizawhat.com said...

Favorite Spaghatta Nadle: Google. Or, em, Gahgahl.

As for the ads, you can do whatever the fuck you want. It IS your blog.

Just trying to be green said...

Hmmm, should have read that last paragraph before I clicked them like 100 times. Won't do it again, I promise!

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAOMG! You are so hilarious! Spaghatta Nadle by boyfriend is HILARIOUS!!! And btw! I was in Seattle last weekend at the Havana dancing my ass of to "skaht skaht mahthar fahkars" with my hot friend Byron. So posted this to his FB! Thanks for the wonderful blog! You make me laugh. Loud.

Elicia said...

You don't know me yet, but I know you. because i'm creepy.

So I made sure to only click on adds I was interested in because I wanted to make you money and also waste time, AND OMG THE THINGS YOU CAN MAKE WITH PILLSBURY CRESCENT ROLLS!

i love your new adds. I now can look at fat recipes and feel like I'm doing community service because it makes you minuscule amounts of money. great.

Queen Kayla said...

Spaghatta Nadle totally made my day.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Hi again. I came back to check your tea sandwiches ad and click on it, because I thought I might have a hankering for a tea sandwich right about now. However, lo and behold, all tea sandwich ads have disappeared!!

Woe was me, until I saw that the ad replacing it was one headed, "Guilt and Shame". Awesome. They must know I'm here.

Sean said...

Normally I don't care for the advertizements . However, your writing is nothing short of amazing, and I think it's more than reasonable that you make some money off of it. In fact, you may want do start digging around for a publisher, yo.

L. Shepherd said...

Spaghatta nadle!!!!

I'm surprised that you were so nervous about putting AdSense on. The thing we have to remember, like it or not, is that writing is a business. We do it because it's a personal expression, it's entertaining, infuriating, funny, or whatever it is to readers, but in the end we do deserve to be compensated for creative works just like anyone else.

There's no shame in having a few ads. Half a page of ads, as I'v seen on some blogs, is just obnoxious, but you're nowhere near that. Karatah!

Nikoliosis said...

Is A1 not an acceptable topping for bananas? I'm confused.

Jasmine said...

This post was full of awesome. Even Boyfriend was full of awesome. :D

Anonymous said...

@Alli

that's silly people who are truly annoyed by ads will use adblock so they won't care anyway.

Moooooog35 said...

I was just asked if I'd post an ad for dildos on my site.

That's like a site about assholes posting an add for free sphincters.

I forget where I was going with this.

the witch's bwew said...

So, I totally could not even find the ads until I searched for like 5 minutes. I'm surprised that natural selection hasn't already weeded out all the sensitive people who die upon seeing ads - how ironic to have made it through the internet minefield, only to die from that little google blurb on your blog.

lauren said...

all your ads are about sandwiches! now i'm hungry :(

Sara said...

Effigy mounds national park
spaghatta nadle is hilarious. Like other readers, I often have to say his diatribes to fully understand him. Awesomeburgers.

A. Gubler said...

I just came across this blog a few days ago and I totally love it. You're hilarious! Also, please put up ads so you can feed yourself. Thanks.

beesus said...

Snuggie-bear looks like the angriest participant at the annual Christmas Pageant. And I love that.

mepsipax said...

Ads Ads. What is this shit...actually I could care less about ads...but if it makes you say bring it fuckers I am all for it. Awesome as always

Stacey said...

I hear posting ads can give you VD. But you gotta eat...

Salt said...

I'm sorry that I missed out on your poll, but I will say that I would have chosen the option about you living and buying food.

I had no idea what Spaghatta Nadle was singing until the last panel of that particular cartoon, but now I think that you should please please please make that one into a shirt.

Anonymous said...

I have to say what Spagghata Nadle says out loud in order to figure it out... which is embarrassing in a computer lab, but that's life.

cptnjess said...

A+

Jim said...

Can you draw a Lion dressed as a Gladiator riding a Dinosaur yet? :(

Scottsdale Girl said...

uhm, excuse me Google but what thee fuckityfuck is a Muscle Sandwich Bar? I am afraid to clicky on it Allie. Very afraid

DarkHorse said...

First ad I saw:

Buy Muscle Sandwich Bars
We'll Instantly Beat Any Price On Muscle Sandwich Protein Bars By 5%!

I wasn't aware there was that much muscle sandwich bar competition...

Regardless... I totes clicked on all your ads. Is your house filled with gold coins yet?

Anonymous said...

I clicked on something I was actually interested in. Happy day =)

Strawberry Templetons said...

For real, I clicked on an ad and it took me to a kitchen website and it taught me how to make "clever crepes". Truth. And also truth, I've been failing mega-ly at crepe making, but now, thanks to your add, I'm a winner.

deen said...

I feel that it is important for you to know about http://www.bunny-comic.com/1.html if you didn't already know of it.

leftyshears said...
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leftyshears said...
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becke364 said...

You dont post enough anymooooooore. You're killing me here.

anewdawnanewday said...

You dont post enough anymooooooore. You're killing me here.

Kathryn said...

I am mad at you. I can't deny it. WHY oh WHY must you wait so long in between blog posts?!?!?!? I a suffering from humor wihtdrawl here so please please please post something hilarious soon! please? (btw im not really mad)

crazysauce said...

that was awesome. i would even burn my eyes with ads for that.

Sasha said...

Allie, first of all, I think you are a bear. (I fucking love bears.)

I know you don't want to solicit PayPal donations from your readers, but I've given it some thought and I think you can make it work without losing face (even though it is most certainly all in your head because your devoted readers really do want you to be able to afford living and maybe eating sometimes). My idea is that you could put it on a secret page hidden in your blog, kind of like a mini scavenger hunt to find the PayPal button. Those of us who find it can feel super special, and you may even offer one of your awesome drawings as a reward if you like so we can brandish our glory on our own blogs. At the same time, you won't have to feel bad because it's not like you have it all out in the open, staring people down and making them feel guilty for withholding money from a starving artist (blogging is an art, yes?). So, your readers can choose to (or not to) pursue it as they wish, and every time you receive a little love in your glove box (Omg, did I just quote a Ke$ha lyric?) you can rest assured that it is out of utter devotion to you, and more importantly Spaghatta Nadle.

Matt said...

You expel the gooey creative juices that nestle inside of your head to bring entertainment to the masses. You are 100% justified in monetizing that ability through selling ad space on this blog. You would be justified having 10x the ads you do now.

Coopie said...

I'm pretty sure you've won the internet, Allie. Do you realize you have 151 (152 after I get done!) comments?? On just ONE post?? THAT IS INCREDIBLE!!! YOU ARE WINNING!!!!!

Keep up the amazing job, kiddo. I'm so proud!

Nicholas said...

Dude, yeah. Boyfriend is funny. Who knew?
Funny too how you talk about not knowing how to run ads while I was here your google ad is about how to manage google adsense. Yar!

Kamahl said...

*didn't realize that you didn't have ads yet*

I should really turn off adblock for sites I like. (or remove the adwords definition all together)

smileyymoonadventures said...

Need more posts!! I have checked your blog everyday and your lack of posts means that I haven't had any joy in my life since Friday!

Aphre said...

All I have so far seen have been ads for sandwiches/sandwich platters/corporate delivery of said. Considering your post of April 6th, I believe there to be something very underhand going on here.

Also, I am now afraid that the ad people keep trying to advertise me food because they think I will buy it because they think I'm fat :/

Lacey said...

I just found your blog a couple of days ago. I was excited to find someone else for whom crackers factor heavily into a lot of life experiences. They are a big part of my doings and my undoings. I have problems.

XO, J said...

Dear Allie...When is Spaghatta Nadle getting a mug? I just ordered 2 but sadly Spaghatta Nadle is still mugless and I couldn't order one...thank you for your consideration :) Also, is Spaghatta Nadle a he or she?

Anonymous said...

Am I a bad person for only subscribing to the RSS feeds of blogs? ;___;

Saz said...

Oh my lord. I laughed so hard at that stupid noodle that my husband kicked me out of his study. I'm fo realz. He said I was a distraction.

Oh man, my sides..!

Canaduck said...

Anyone who has a problem with you putting up ads is a complete tool.

li-la said...

your ads beat most of what ive seen on tv/magazines/streets/buses/etc, ever thought of working for an advertisement company? you'd make the world a much more hilarious place!!

Chris W. said...

I left my rss feed to come here and make you money. Congrats.

r4c3c4r said...

I agree with Kamahl. I run Adblock, so I never really notice ads (or the lack thereof), but I need to remember to disable it on the good sites that deserve my ad revenue. It's disabled on this one now, so that's a start. Hope you get some food out of it. Food is good. I would also possibly be among those throwing Paypal money at you, if for no other reason than the Alot post made me LOL and scare my dogs.

Bridget Callahan said...

Will you get in trouble if you post that Macbook ad anyway? Cause it's the best thing ever.

Anonymous said...

I didn't even notice the ads.. had to go back and look for them.

Nona said...

How interesting that today's ads are for Anger Management ;-)

Ben said...

Thanks for not putting Alot of ads on here.

Rah!

Alice said...

So I'm a reader of Go Fug Yourself and when they posted a link to your sandwich post I thought 'My god! Who is this person?' So then I read, laughed, read, laughed and so on for three whole days (bearing in mind that I had to go to university sometimes, otherwise I totally could have read faster) until I got to the end, exhausted and with aching stomach.
So I solved your little rebus and then was redirected to yet another blog with god knows how many posts. I thought I was done! I really felt like I had accomplished something but you took that away from me. Alas!

meggytron said...

GAHHHHHHHHH I am so in love with each and every post. Thank you for making me laugh! I needed it.

placidwilbur said...

Hello. I found your blog yesterday. Normally I'd just go about my busy exam-season day, silently celebrating the new thing I'd found to make study breaks exciting (and longer than they should be). I'm passive and reserved like that.

But you seem to really appreciate comments and followers and knowing that people love your posts, and in my modest 4 hours here I've not found a single one that isn't brilliant! I'm already dreading the day I catch up with what you've posted and have to wait for you to update. Thanks :)

alysdexia said...

Who in the hell is "I guys"?

Today's Random said...

My day is complete thanks to Spaghatta Nadle. And the google one almost made me pee a little.

Jack said...

If you have a penis, I'd hitchhike from Canada to Montana to marry you... with Boyfriend's approval naturally.

Your mind is exactly what I need in a man.

Rock on, girl.

-JF

KNF said...

I'm disappointed that there are not more ads about gay-married, al-qaeda-loving babies. And how to get them to stop sticking to my uterus.

Michelle said...

Dear Allie,
I found your blog a couple of months ago when I was really lonely and low. I'm in my first year of university, and even though I've made some good friends, I am quite shy and self-conscious, and often feel like I am not a 'proper person' because I can't get a job and people think I'm strange.

But reading your blog has made me see that you don't have to do all the stuff that most people do in order to be a proper person. You just have to find something to put some of your soul into, and run with it.
I really admire you for having the strength to put your stories and thoughts (weird and wonderful as they are!) on the Internet, to put yourself out there for people to judge.

I know you're not a famous person in the sense of trashy magazines and scandals. Although I would love to see the kind of scandal you'd be involved in...I'm thinking something like:

'Blog Celebrity Found In Compromising Position With Ham and Raisin Sandwich...'

But anyway, I know you aren't a 'celebrity' as such, but you should know that everyone I've ever shown your blog has absolutely loved it, and on my Facebook feed there are six links to your posts. And that's just today. I thought you should know because I think sometimes you don't believe anyone likes your blog, and sometimes you don't realise how wonderful and clever and funny you are.

Thank you for sharing your wonderful blog! Incidentally, the recent post about 'alots' made me HOWL, as I am driven absolutely insane by that particular grammatical error. Now I know what they're really talking about! I shall have to apologise to all the people I whacked with the dillon stick.

Fuzzy Izmit said...

I love your blog! I dont mind ads at all... but you may want to consider projectwonderful. I have their ads (just 2) on my blog, plus I advertise through them. It is an auction system, which I like.

Spidergrackle said...

Out. Fucking. Standing.

Spidergrackle said...

BTW: Spaghatta Karatah has got to make it onto a shirt. Pleazepleazepleaze...

phoeberl said...

Does a bear shit in the woods? I don't know, does charmin give you dingleberries?!

Anonymous said...

OK. Very funny. I don't like ads, but I'll put up with them until you figure out how to collect micropayments. I would rather give you a nickel for writing some thing funny than have an advertiser give you a nickel because they think they can get 50 cents from me for something I was perfectly happy without until I saw the ad.

Spidergrackle said...

Ah cahn't stahp talkan' lahk a spaghatta nadle! AMG!

Spidergrackle said...

Ahg, I'm obsessed. I'd love to see the Get Low panel with tho mocorono nodle and thie grine ife rice backing him up.

Anonymous said...

hey asshole. post more.

Anonymous said...

I would like to meeet the ahrghanahc spaghatta nadle :)

Anonymous said...

ah nahd yah tah blahg mahr.
-friend of the spaghatta nadle

Anonymous said...

Glad you're alive. I have decided that your blog is like the little baby finch on my front porch last week. I want to pick it up and put it back in the nest, but I know that if I do that its mother will not feed it, and then I'll end up with a little baby finch carcass on my front porch. And I'll hate the mama finch, who never really did anything to me other than build a nest without my permission.

That sounded darker than intended. The blog was the baby finch, just to clarify, and I'm not sure who the mama finch is in my poorly-thought-out analogy.

In summary: Glad you're alive, try not to almost die so often, and get some freakin' health insurance (jobs help). I will only continue to read your blog if you take care of these basic needs. (Gotcha! I'll read it anyway. But srsly, get some insurance.)

This is my first and last post. I must conform to the finch analogy rigidly. I'm sure you understand.

David said...

I clicked an ad already cause I know how they work to give you a few cents and after reading about the Alot I've decided this blog is fully-deserving of me slightly twitching my pointer finger an extra once every time I visit in the future.

You're welcome.

b7rian said...

My hemorrhoids hurt alot today

Allison said...

This made my day so much better. Right after reading it I walked out of my dorm room and discovered that someone had written "Dave Hearts Dick ALOT" on the whiteboard across the hall. I wondered how the Alot would respond to such a statement.