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The Alot is Better Than You at Everything

As a grammatically conscientious person who frequents internet forums and YouTube, I have found it necessary to develop a few coping mechanisms.  When someone types out "u" instead of "you," instead of getting mad, I imagine them having only one finger on each hand and then their actions seem reasonable.  If I only had one finger on each hand, I'd leave out unnecessary letters too!


If I come across a person who seems to completely ignore the existence of apostrophes and capital letters and types things like "im an eagle and im typing with my talons, so dont make fun of me cuz this is hard," I like to imagine that they actually are an eagle typing with their talons.  It would be a hassle if you had to hop in the air and use your feet to karate-chop two keys simultaneously every time you wanted to use the shift key to make a capital letter.   Also, eagles lack manual dexterity, so I can understand why they'd want to leave out apostrophes.  Eagles are all about efficiency.  


But there is one grammatical mistake that I particularly enjoy encountering.  It has become almost fun for me to come across people who take the phrase "a lot" and condense it down into one word, because when someone says "alot," this is what I imagine:


The Alot is an imaginary creature that I made up to help me deal with my compulsive need to correct other people's grammar.  It kind of looks like a cross between a bear, a yak and a pug, and it has provided hours of entertainment for me in a situation where I'd normally be left feeling angry and disillusioned with the world.  

For example, when I read the sentence "I care about this alot," this is what I imagine: 


Similarly, when someone says "alot of _______", I picture an Alot made out of whatever they are talking about.  


If someone says something like "I feel lonely alot" or "I'm angry alot," I'm going to imagine them standing there with an emo haircut, sharing their feelings with an Alot.  


The Alot is incredibly versatile. 


So the next time you are reading along and you see some guy ranting about how he is "alot better at swimming than Michael Phelps," instead of getting angry, you can be like "You're right!  Alots are known for their superior swimming capabilities."
  

784 comments:

  1. This is really helpful! Thanks, Alot!

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  2. Ahahahaha. Good grief. It's like you have a creepy window into my brain. (I bet you get many people who try and make you think that they are JUST like you, in an attempt to make you like them more, don't you?).
    Thank you for making me cry at least 5 times (no hyperbole) from laughter in the week since I discovered your blog. I think I have maybe 7 posts left to read from last September, and then I will have read the whole thing.
    I'm sure you've seen this, but:
    http://theoatmeal.com/comics/apostrophe

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  3. HAHAHAHAHA the 'Alot of beer cans' is so awesome!

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  4. Haha, I liked that alot (obviously referring to the picture with the alot and the baby)!

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  5. i am in love with an alot. where can i get one of these? do they breed them in japan? can i have one shipped? thanks alot allie! (now you have to do one wearing your pink allie dress!)

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  6. And this whole time I thought I was the only one with a pet, alot!

    My alot is named Henry.

    He's my best friend.

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  7. hahahhaa oh this is really sweet, i enjoy your very particular point of view. thanks for sharing it.

    greetins from peru!

    Lupi

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  8. You could teach high school English. After this lesson no teenager would ever misuse 'a lot.'You could do other lessons, too, and publish a textbook! Hey, new job idea for you!

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  9. I like the emo, Alot. Hahaha.

    But I'm not emo. Just saying.

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  10. I'm expecting a Twitter account called "Alot" to show up and auto-retweet tweets containing "alot." Of course it would use the "I care about this alot" drawing as the icon. I would totally subscribe. It would give me giggles.

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  11. I can't even put into words how awesome this post is.

    I think I love you alot.

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  12. Dare I say it?

    I this alot!!!

    LOL

    Also, I mus say that I am a culprit in the "u" department. It is because I'm usually typing from my phone and am lazy and choose to use that shortcut. :P plus, I technically AM only using two fingers (or thumbs, as the case may be)...so I think perhaps I can have amnesty?

    Anyhoo...

    I love u alot.

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  13. i love the emo kid talking to the Alot.

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  14. I like this alot. Much better than doing thesis work. Thanks for the distraction!

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  15. I think this is one of the best posts of yours I've ever read. I feel the same way you do. Loved it!

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  16. Hahahaha thank you for saving Alot of my life.

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  17. These posts make me giggle for real every single time.

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  18. Yep...this helps clarify a number of things. Thanks. By the way do you know what an "alotabit" is?

    Obviously some relation to an alot. I keep running into that too.

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  19. I once discovered Alot of grammatical errors over the years. I've done Alot of surving the web. Can you imagine how many Alots I've seen and hunted down over the past 10 years or more?

    I've got quite Alot of heads on my wall now.

    thechurchofalmightyunicorn.blogspot.com

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  20. You should do a post on more mythical creatures representing human deficiencies. Your too funny! I like you alot.

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  21. as someone who is also grammatically conscious, this will be alot of help when i run into the idiots of the interweb and want to rip out alot of my hairs because of their idiocy. which happens alot.

    Ugh, now I just sound stupid.

    Anyway, this was awesome and hilarious and I really want an alot now. :)

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  22. Lol...your a Grammar Nazi =P

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  23. When I was in J-school, I had a writing teacher who said, "It isn't a lot unless you can put a house on it." (What?? I went to school in the south.) I don't think I want to live on Alot though. That just seems unnecessarily cruel.

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  24. I was ranting earlier today about the misuse of "you're" and "your", as well as "there", "their", and "they're". Those are my biggest pet peeves by far. However, "a lot", "alot", and the occasional "allot" definitely annoy me as well. Nicely done. Cheers.

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  25. Awww.....the Alot drawings might be better than the Spaghattah Nadle. So cute.

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  26. How creative! Alots are officially the coolest animals ever. How dare you spell check for underlining Alot!

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  27. I'm pretty sure that all the intentional grammatical errors in the comments are going to drive me insane.

    Preach it, Allie. (And coming from a librarian, that means a lot.)

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  28. I had a comment.
    Really I did.

    Then, "Anonymous" posted "your a Grammar Nazi" and didn't use the correct "you're". Now I am all discombobulated.

    Ah, the slow decline of grammar.

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  29. I love your posts a lot.

    I also love your posts, Alot. (I mean, if you ever let the Alot make his or her own post, I'm sure I would love it.)

    Maybe next you can take on the misuse of LESS and FEWER. I hate that one Alot. (And now I'm picturing a grumpy Alot wearing a sandwich board that says LESS and FEWER.)

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  30. As Heather just said, it's like you have a creepy window into my brain. Especially as I only discovered you last night & have been since spamming my friends and my FB feed with links to you. I think you're the best thing EVER.

    The fact that your first new post since my happy discovery is about grammar peeves, on the internet, creeps me out because I am a long-established grammar peeves ranter. (Also? I am a hypocritical run-on sentence abuser.) It's a delicious creepy, though. Like your post about spiders.

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  31. I'm a professionally trained proofreader, so I notice when people don't know how to write. It takes a great deal of self control for me to not spend hours a day correcting grammar and spelling on YouTube. But now I have fun mental images to make the ignoring of mistakes more fun. Thanks, Allie. Those drawings will make the internet far more tolerable for the literate.

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  32. Noone cares what you think.

    http://blog.pennlive.com/thrive/2007/12/PeterNoonePicForBlog.jpg

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  33. Unless the eagle has changed the keyboard settings he would also need to do the 'hop shift' for the exclamation marks.

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  34. I wanted to tell you funny things about how I'm trying desperately to convince the internet to give me a job as an editor, but I think you broke me. I love the Alot so damn much. If I ever do get that job, I swear to email pictures of sad Alots to bad authors. That is, unless said emailing would cause the copyright beast to come eat me.

    Anonymous, if you did that intentionally, you are a bad person and should feel bad about yourself. And if you're just the kind of person who abuses homophones willy-nilly, you should know that I'm working on developing a new internet wherein grammar fascists can proofread everything anyone writes. Coming soon.

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  35. It's possible that the Alot will save me from becoming clinically insane due to frequent exposure to bad grammar.

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  36. ....I think I may finally be able to deal with incorrect grammar now. You are so very helpful. Even though I'm sure everyone else that has already posted has said it, thanks, alot. (:

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  37. Best post I've read in a fortnight!

    I liked it alot.

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  38. You are a genius! I love your blog. Thanks!

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  39. So... now I want to see what a Noone looks like. Especially the one that cares what you think.

    By the way, you're amazing; you must make the overall-awesomeness-meter for Montana go up five or six degrees all by yourself.
    This is the first time I've commented, but I've been laughing out loud at your posts for almost a week now. Since I don't laugh, this is an accomplishment of no little merit.
    The downside is, I have an evil super-villain laugh, and my roommate now wakes up in the wee hours of the morning to me cackling in the dark. =D

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  40. This post made my day. In fact, I'm feeling alot happier now that I've read it. ;)

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  41. I too am a compulsive grammar freak and I absolutely have to correct people the minute I see an error. I'll let you in on a secret, when I started reading this post and gathered from the first sentence that it was about grammar perfection, I had this thought:

    "Aha, here's Allie talking about being grammatically conscientious and she's used "alot" instead of "a lot" in the post title! How embarrassing, I am so going to write a comment to point that out!"

    Then I read on and I realised how much of a terrible person and a fool I am. Ahh well...

    P.S. This is a wonderful creation you've made here. From now on when I read "alot", my usual frustration shall be transformed into laughter and happy memories. Thank you :D

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  42. Cuddly toy Alot from Zazzle?

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  43. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  44. Can you draw a "worthed" next? He's green.

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  45. You know what? I think this WILL actually help calm my general rage. Do you have anything good for your/you're. OR EVEN BETTER: it's/its?

    www.harshbanter.wordpress.com

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  46. This is a much nicer explanation of the correct use for the term as oppossed to my Lawyer Friend who likes to shout, "Only f*cking morons write "alot"!"
    Hey! There's an idea. In addition to being the Winner of the Internet, maybe you can teach morons. Just something to think about...

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  47. Funniest thing I've ever read. I like it, Alot.

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  48. The Alot are even better than the Adipose that were in that doctor who story.....how can I adopt one?

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  49. oh man.
    i felt it.
    right thru the heart.
    i almost NEVER use proper capitalization/apostrophi-cation and often substitute letters (or numbers) 4 words when it comes to commenting on sites. i make the effort when it comes to my own blog but it's (<-----i did that one just for you) not something that comes easily.
    im super lazy and kind of hate caps unless used for effect.
    the proof is in the pudding with this comment.

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  50. Ha! I love u Alot!

    How about "definatly"? Can I get an amen! UGH! People are a lot of stupid or lazy.

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  51. You complete me - alot. =P Oh, but this is sooo helpful - now anytime I want to kill myself over seeing "alot" or "hey u want 2 c me 2day" I'll either just think of a nice giant fuzzy creature, or pity their lack of digits.

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  52. Brilliant. I'm going to use that alot.

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  53. I don't know if it's just the change in meds and too many emotional mac trucks today, but this made me literally laugh out loud. Multiple times.

    (I don't really think it's me. I think it's probably because you're brilliant. Or maybe your brilliant, if he helped)

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  54. Alot is adorable! I just wanna hold alot!

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  55. The alot needs to be on a t-shirt. :)

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  56. i think u hav alot of issues but u r funny

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  57. I'm guessing that you also get frustrated watching those commercial advertising useless products like the Slapchop. I know this because they frustrate ME to no end. Since we have this grammatical correctness fixation in common, I'm assuming you too, are afflicted with the need to vent when some idiot yells that YOU NEED to purchase this machine!!! Who cares that it pulverizes vegetables I already had to chop up finely, using a knife, so I could USE his damn contraption in the first place.

    Yep. I'll be in therapy Mondays and Wednesdays, do you want to carpool?

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  58. Could you please help with the "they're their there" dilemma. Well, only a dilemma if you're (not your!) a moron.

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  59. I have to re-comment to Raconteur so forgive me. Oh, and plug your ears Allie, I'm going to YELL.

    HEY ASSHOLE, raconteur, YA YOU! GO AWAY. WE CARE. WE LIKE HER MORE THAN CHOCOLATE SAUCE ON ICE CREAM. SO, GO SIT ON THAT AND TWIST.

    ... now back to our regularly scheduled comments. :o)

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  60. The Alot, is the cutest thing ever. I want one.

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  61. I find myself moved to organize an Adopt An Alot organization.

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  62. Even as a non-native English speaker, I couldn't agree more.

    I'm sincerely, if not atypically, thankful for these tips - not to mention the many laughs had while reading.

    Keep 'em coming.

    /Kris

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  63. I love those alots, too. Thanks for the awesome button update, as well. I went and it was awesome.

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  64. True story, I know someone with only one finger on each hand, AND HE TYPES OUT FULL WORDS. Cuz he isn't a lazy asshole. I like the Alot a lot... I will think of him next time someone commits that grammar folly.

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  65. It's a huge pet-peeve when people write "alot"
    also when people write "thru"
    What the hell is that?
    Just because it's on Drive Thru sign at Del Taco, it doesn't make it correct.

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  66. You have no idea how much this is going to help me.

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  67. *snerk* Your alot is adorable.

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  68. This post is awesome, and the Google Ad for Grammarly is like some sort of delicious icing. Or whatnot.

    Love alot!

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  69. Oh, sheesh....I am horrible about the "alot" monster. The husband nags me about it constantly, so when he gets home & sees your post about this specific grammatical error, he will rain on my parade...alot. :)

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  70. 3 things...

    1. my students will love this alot
    2. although i also have many grammatical pet peeves, i also have this weird thing about capital letters (i feel as though they make the other letters feel less important), so i tend to avoid them
    3. i think many people will agree that the biggest punctuation pain in the ass is the unncessary apostrophe. "the brown's"... what? house? mailbox? ugly sign?

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  71. u postd this 4 hrs ago & u already hav 70+ comments. shhh. thats alot of comments!! lol.

    I'm just kidding, Allie. I'll type complete words on my comments from now on.

    I really loved this one. This kind of stuff doesn't bother me at all, but you made it incredibly funny. Huge kudos!

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  72. You have a lot of comments, there must be a lot of grammer bugged people. Like me.

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  73. Not if I find you first.

    Molly Burke CPCC MSU
    Queen of Confidence
    www.lifepurposeworks.com
    "Even before I begin, I am made of win!"

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  74. First time on site, I am going to keep this short.

    Good job.

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  75. You've really captured Michael Phelps' nipples and navel with your artwork. Awesome.

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  76. Uh, yeah -- what Alana said up there! This proofreader thanks you. A lot!

    Alot will get me through many future days on the job. Believe me. :)

    PS -- still wanna marry you. (sorry, Boyfriend) ;)

    --Suzanne in Texas

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  77. Wow, just stumbled across this and love it. I'm an English teacher and encounter a lot of Alots every day. Thanks for giving me a picture to put to them!

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  78. I L to the O the the V to the E the Alot! they are adorable, especially the 'i like this Alot' one. i feel really bad for the pale Alot on 'i like this Alot more'. i love you Alot! you have cute eyes! Haha, i'm not a good speller and my grammar is pathetic, however i do have a slight meltdown when rules i HAVE managed to learnt are broken by others. i can assure you, if i have learnt it, you can learn it. i wanted to go all battle-mode when i read an above comment that stated 'your a grammar natzi'. great post Ali!

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  79. Please address "fewer" and "less" which are alot misused, alas. (phew.)

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  80. This is stuck in my head now. Obviously something you care a lot about. And your best drawings so far. Keep going, get better. Advice not an order.

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  81. Keep up the funny work. I love this alot. :)

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  82. Um... I have been a faithful reader and um... would really like to get my very own Alot. You know, if it's not too much trouble and all.

    I would pet it and feed it and love it and and and...

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  83. I wonder if Alot has a friend named Prolly....

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  84. I love it when people say something like 'I do that alot.' It makes me think of other things...

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  85. My friend and I are reading this in class instead of paying attention and now we're laughing....alot.

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  86. Ya know what bugs me alot more than that? I would of, I could of, instead of would have, could have. >.<

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  87. The Alot is the cutest thing I've ever seen on Blogger (or in my case, Tumblr.) I must write a book about this creature!

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  88. Hahaha, I'm dying of laughter and I COMPLETELY share in your disdain for incorrect grammar! My least favorite - even more than 'alot' is when people write things like "your cool". I always feel like asking, "my cool...what?"

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  89. You should license this post to teachers everywhere. I would maybe even pay you if you'd let me use it with my students. Seriously. (Like, $5, but still.) Granted, I teach Latin, so I don't need to yell at them about things like apostrophes or "alot" that often, but it would be an awesome set of illustrations to have around.

    ACTUALLY, make a big poster of this and put it in your store. Just give me a discount for sharing such a wonderful idea with you.

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  90. what about...

    This is Alot funnier than the other blogs I read!

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  91. im pretty sure u rock n this is alot of awesome. :)

    No seriously, I love your writing.

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  92. Ahahahaha! I laughed out loud 394802394 times while reading this post.

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  93. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  94. MY alots are made entirely of kittens. They are Alots of Kittens. Unless Kittens is a place, then they're technically Alots FROM Kittens.

    Which gets a little wierd if you see baby kittens giving birth to many alots.

    Like, a litter of Alots.

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  95. You are hilarious. I stumbled across your blog a week or so ago, and my friends and I have been reading and laughing hysterically. Seriously, I've been at the point of hyperventilating. I'm thinking about starting my own blog. Sorry, got to go. GLEE'S ON! OH MY GOD!

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  96. Oh yeah. Alots of Kittens, where Kittens is a place like "CamAlots," which in itself gets even wierder when you associate "cam" with "naughty webcam."

    Then the Alots are not my Alots. At that point, they cross into somethings I'd have to give a credit card number to hang out with.

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  97. haha, you are amazing. seriously. i loved this post.

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  98. At my elementary school, our spelling book taught us to spell it as one word, "alot". Granted, it WAS the 80's, and it WAS Catholic school. But the book said so, so I grew up and did what the book said, because I'm a good Catholic girl and I follow the rules, despite the fact that using "alot" has caused me to be the victim of ridicule and social ostracism for 20 years. It hurts, Allie, but I do it because the workbook told me to.

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  99. Baby less dangerous. Hahahahhahah! I love you so much!

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  100. I just imagine that the person typing is on fire and only have a limited amount of time before they lose control of their hands due to the horrific burns, but this is equally amusing.

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  101. If you had a plush "Alot" as part of a store on your site you could make ALOT of money.

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  102. Oh, my God. This might actually be my favorite post so far.

    What can I say? You're a genius. I'd personally begun to suspect that people who comment on YouTube were some underground tribe of grammatically-challenged baffoons that were created to play a cruel joke on humanity.

    BUT I LIKE YOUR EXPLANATIONS WAAAYY MORE!

    Rock on, chica. ;)

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  103. I too have issues with those who have problems with grammar. I really like your idea. I am going to adopt it, because otherwise, I will probably end up in the fetal position in bed, sucking my thumb and moaning softly.

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  104. Hilarious yet again. I laughed so hard I cried.

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  105. ALOT tees?!? Please?

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  106. Thank you for introducing this coping mechanism. I needed it, the internetz sometimes fill me with rage, especially whe it spills out into real life. :(
    Do you also have one for common "spelling" errors, like "too/to", "lose/loose", and other things o' that natchah? (sorry, Fat Joe usurps that phrase. I have several words I can't say on my own anymore, and make me look [more] crazy when I interject them into conversation. Carry on.)

    Hilarious, but you knew that. Thank you for the Alot, he is now part of my life. <3

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  107. My dear, I realize that language and grammar are organic and are allowed to change. However, I feel I have found a kindred spirit in you. So what happened to the "there're". As in "there are." I seen in print all the time "there's three things," when it should read "there're." Even my spell checker tells me this is no longer a word. YEECH!!

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  108. OMG thank you so, so much for this. Online grammar drives me up the wall, but now I just get to picture the adorable Alot instead! :)

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  109. ahgh!!!

    this does make a lot of things better, all of a sudden...
    i feel a lot less need to kill half of the internet population, with fire.

    see, you make the world a wonderful place. i'm even commenting on blogs...i usually never do that!

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  110. A part of me is totally fearful of what the world would become if you gained the subconscious ability to change it with your thoughts.

    An equally sized part of me thinks it would be hilarious for herds of Alots to suddenly appear.

    Another excellent post from an ever superlative blog.

    P.S. I woke up my girlfriend due to laughing at the thought of Spaghatta Nadle riding a charging Alot. She finds it less funny but is one of those 'grumpy when woke up at 4am types'.

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  111. This post is alot of fun.

    I want to see alot more, alot of times.

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  112. Grammar Police SargeantApril 13, 2010 at 8:32 PM

    The Alot rocks! Go Grammar Police! I cope by purposely using phrases like "less gooder." It's over the top enough that people know I'm joking but is a nice outlet for irritation with the grammatically challenged...

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  113. Very funny, Ms. Brosh. It seems your recent fame has piqued the interest of several area trolls. Your posts have not suffered, however, and I recommend the immortal words of Dr. Thompson, "don't take any guff from these swine!"

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  114. This is wonderful. You should continue writing funny things on the internet.

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  115. Holy crap. This is AMAZING. I constantly have this problem and you just saved my life (kinda). I love this Alot! :D

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  116. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS JUST MADE MY LIFE SO MUCH BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU.

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  117. While the internet and texting have clearly joined forces to dumb-ify the world, these are useful defense tactics. (Although they aren't so much defending against the dumb as they are defending the dumb from you, and now countless others, who can now think of cute furry alots when the desire to maul some hapless teenager with their iPhone strikes.)

    Teenagers everywhere should thank you for that.

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  118. I want to have an Alot pet, he looks so cuddly and fun..

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  119. Allie, this is another fine post to your site! I can't believe I'm getting spelling/grammar advice from both your site and The Oatmeal.

    I had a similar coping mechanism when reading the word 'alot'. I always pictured an ocelot.

    Thanks for all of your hard work, creativity and illustrations!

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  120. You are incredibly funny, so glad I stumbled upon this blog!! :D

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  121. Holy hell, I just died laughing. I'm going to think of that everytime I see the word alot.

    PS. The alot is super super cute.

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  122. lol this is very funny i like this alot, youre so i cannot stop laffing

    /Excuse me, you are too much of a temptress!

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  123. Can you make an alot shirt, please?

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  124. Those Alots sure do look alot like Rat Creatures...

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  125. I can't decide whether I like the MEOW or Michael Phelps and his jazzy swim trunks better.

    Absolutely hysterical!

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  126. Ohh I LOVE the alot, its so cute!!! And the picture "I care about this alot" is so adorable!!

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  127. You just made my day. After hours of reading 400-level fiction stories with poor syntax and uninteresting plots, I needed a little laughter. Thank you for always providing me with a place to go where I don't feel like a grammar nerd (or the only grammar nerd).

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  128. Ha ha ha ha!!! Awesome! I've taken steps to loosen it up a bit during social interactions because I was always made fun of for not being "black enough", which is basically the "down" peoples' way of saying I should act more "ignant". I'm just not good good at being social and I never know the right thing to say. As stupid as it seems even to me, I sometimes backspace and rewrite things so it looks like I'm not such a nerd.
    Random Question #1: How often do your followers' comments piss you off?
    Random Question #2: Do you like chocolate cake?

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  129. I'm a new follower. Thanks for the laugh! Loved it. I will now be seeing the different Alot's every time I see "alot"!

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  130. Wow - such great coping mechanisms! I am so relieved that now I don't have to hit someone over the head (usually the person within my reach who may or may not be completely innocent and extremely confused as to why I'm shouting and hitting them repeatedly in the head) when I come across atrocious internet grammar. I appreciate it! :D

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  131. i NEED to own an ALOT plush toy! PLEASEEEEEEEEEE!!!

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  132. That was wonderful!

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  133. i like this post alot. I like you alot (i tried to do this last sentence "i like u alot".......but I just can't force myself to type "u")

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  134. I now want an Alot, just so I can name him Lord Percival III. Percy for short.

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  135. i use alot, alot. do you hate me? D:

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  136. I just have to say that the picture of the "I hear that Alot" had me on the floor laughing so hard I cried. Working on a college campus this most likely looked strange to the students passing by the large window into my office. That made my Tuesday quite a bit more interesting!

    But seriously, that picture of the Alot fixed my horrible week. Thanks for the great posts!

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  137. Bumpjon totally digs how Alot also speaks in third person.

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  138. I really must relate this story to you as it is extremely relevant!

    I was in fifth grade, Mr. Edwards' English class. We were having the very FIRST spelling test of the school year. It was explained to us that we would have to spell ten words and to number our papers appropriately.

    The first word was "a lot".

    I had a conundrum upon hearing that, my eleven year old self. I knew, rationally, that "a lot" was two words and not one, but at the same time we were specifically instructed that we would be spelling ten words, so by that logic the first word was just that, A word. I had to guess what Mr. Edwards was looking for - and maybe, just maybe I was wrong after all and "a lot" wasn't two words but one word after all?

    I wrote:

    1. alot

    When I got my test back and found it marked wrong I was so angry. Angry that I had been tricked, angry that what we were told and what was expected were clearly two different things, and most distressingly that now Mr. Edwards thought that I thought "a lot" was one word instead of two.

    It has bothered me so much that here I sit twenty-four years later and I'm still mad about it.

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  139. I'm super pleased that the eagle uses a Mac.

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  140. As with the others above, I am in love with you. So hilarious!!! This will help me manage my internet anger a lot better. I am generally offended by poor spelling & grammar, but this helps... Alot. :D

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  141. I laughed so hard reading this that my boyfriend kept twisting around and giving me "WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU???" looks. He may not thank you, but I do!

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  142. I'm so glad there is at least one person on the internet who hasn't resorted to text-speak! I love your blog; I hope to see Alot more in the future.

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  143. How does the equal type an ! without using shift? Hmm....

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  144. You have saved the last shred of my sanity by sharing these coping mechanisms with me. My entire circle of friends thanks you.

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  145. LOL! Your eagle and your alot would get along famously with archy, the cockroach poet who couldn't press shift and a letter at the same time. There was a glorious day when his typewriter was left in shift mode and HE GOT TO WRITE CAPITALS FOR A WHILE. ;) You'd love the books!

    Thanks for a good laugh.
    Sarah

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  146. Alot vs Michael Phelps makes me smile, alot!

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  147. You should totally make an alot plushie! I think a lot of people would buy it. I know I would because how could you not want one?

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  148. I just discovered your blog this week. It has pretty much rendered me completley incapable of productive activity, which would be frightening if I chose to really think about it, fortunately I don't. Over the passed 2 nights I have read 185 posts. Yeah, all of them. I had to use a calculator to add them up since my brain is pretty much dead. Yesterday I went to sleep so late that I missed work this morning. By approximately 7 hours. Is this what you want?!? To get me fired? Do you know who would probably replace me?!?

    If you guessed William Shatner you're probably correct. However, this is a price I am willing to pay because this blog is awesome. And according to the transitive property you are awesome. And because I now read your blog...I am now awesome. Which fits pretty well in the "Things-To-Achieve-Before-I-Get-Old-and-Lose-Control-of-My-Bladder" Life Plan

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  149. Bahahha I'm tweeting this... This is going to change the way I read alot, a lot.

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  150. I agree, a lot. I have been known to refuse to date men who cannot tell the difference between "your" and "you're," based on that principle alone. It's just unacceptable!

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  151. This blog is so cool...

    I'm spreading the word in Norway!

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  152. huh... to be honest, I completely disagree. I think its interesting how as time changes so does speech and rhetoric. The means to which we communicate and the shear volume of communication that we share these days lends itself to "mistakes" and changes. What I think is even more interesting is the anger and intolerance that arises from these grammatical "errors". I understand that we're taught right and wrong from a very early age but I question the powerful energy that this generates in the wrong direction. What if these people haven't been dealt the fine education that you obviously have? And when it comes down to it, the goal of communication is the transmission of ideas. As long as the message is not misunderstood, than who the fuck cares? I have to wonder whether this type of intolerant mindset carries over to other facets of life... hmmm... scary.

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  153. Awesome. "Alot" reminds me of an old occasional Mad magazine series, Horrifying Clichés.

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  154. Does the alot feel left out when someone says "you guys"? (Alot is no "guy")

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  155. Absolutely brilliant. No way I'm not going to be able to keep the Alot out of my mind whenever I encounter that improper usage of the phrase.

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  156. Yup, this is gonna stick with me through the maddening hours of forum surfing.

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  157. This is brilliant, especially because I thought I was the only grammar pedant on the Internet!

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  158. Ha ha, brilliant xP Alot is really really adorable in a way <3

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  159. You should totally buy an alot for Miss Nomer.

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  160. This is an excellent coping mechanism. Thanks, Alot, for sharing!

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  161. In other words, some people write the way you draw people? :-D

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  162. Internet should be capitalized.

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  163. I imagine him sounding like Ludo from Labyrinth.

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  164. The alot reminds me of my sister's french bulldog. Except he's not furry... and he doesn't have horns. Do you think the alot could learn how to play polo? I hear yaks do!

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  165. A. Brilliant post - my mum-in-law sent me the link so now I'm going to have to go back through your previous posts to see what other gems you have provided. I love the Alot and want him as a pet. I'm sitting here thinking of the various things an Alot could be made from. The weirdest one I can think of is Alot of people...bleurgh.

    B. @SDP - "I have to wonder whether this type of intolerant mindset carries over to other facets of life... hmmm... scary."

    Implying bigotry to someone who dislikes poor grammar is scarily close to invoking Godwin's Law. Impatience and frustration with idiocy is vastly different to being intolerant of others for other reasons. The fact that there is SO much *laziness* in online writing is what makes me so mad. People who type U instead of You know the difference, they're just too lazy to write the proper word. People who write Your instead of You're: if they haven't learned the difference, it's probably because they weren't paying attention when it was taught in school - it was in my school but there were loads of students who still got it wrong! Also, it's sheer. Shear is for sheep.

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  166. I laughed longer and harder than I have in days.

    :D

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  167. the alot is way better than a manbearpig. i lurve alot a lot.

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  168. LOOOOOOOOL

    This is soooooooo funny..
    Loved it to bits..

    Cant stop laughing! :D

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  169. Please make stuffed toys. Please please please.

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  170. When i see "Alot", I think of: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alot

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  171. I'm compulsive with my grammar and punctuations as well. My coworker is ready to slap me for always correcting her english (such a bitchy thing for me to do) and now that I have this stupid new touch screen phone, its really difficult to get everything right. That thing has a mind of its own. And I pride myself on knowing the difference between "its" and "it's." That is all.

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  172. Also, I agree with this person:

    Lisa Beeson said...
    I imagine him sounding like Ludo from Labyrinth.

    ME TOO.

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  173. This just made my day. You've transformed my experience of internet forums for ever.

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  174. Why aren't you an English teacher? These visual aids would be extremely useful and help alot. ;)

    Ok, next blog post idea - please create some funny visual aids for their, they're, there and your, you're. HUGE pet peeve of mine!

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  175. I have a new favourite animal! Being high in the ranks of the Grammar Police myself, you've given me something to cope with my post-traumatic stress after reading mangled language. Thank you!

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  176. The Alot would make a great shirt. I would love to order an "I Love you Alot" shirt.

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  177. Whoa. You have totally changed the way I view grammatical errors! Thanks, alot. :P

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  178. This is amazing! I'm going to adopt your view of an Alot so coping might abound!

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  179. Of course you realize that I am now going to have to look through my blog to see if I can find an Alot among my own posts. If I find one, I guess I will be okay with him living there...after all, Alot's are rather cute! Awesome post!

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  180. I LOVE THIS ALOT.
    I LOVE ALL ALOTS.

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  181. I wish you could do something magical like this so I wouldn't get mad at the incorrect uses of "your" and "you're."

    You are a wonder. An absolute wonder.

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  182. Love this post. I wonder what you think of when people say "irregardless." That one gets me EVERY time.

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I'm super creepy and totally capable of finding you